


Trouble Is a Cousin of Mine

by Hokuto



Category: Destiny (Video Games), Marathon (Video Games)
Genre: Conversations, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 10:37:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15338052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hokuto/pseuds/Hokuto
Summary: After Xol's defeat, Rasputin gets buzzed.





	Trouble Is a Cousin of Mine

His cousin had returned.

At some point shortly before the event rank LINDISFARNE, his ridiculously large and bizarrely designed dreadnought had slipped out of Rasputin's covert surveillance in that irritating way it had, as if Rasputin's observation had been obvious all along and Rasputin had only been allowed the privilege of it because his cousin had no concerns about being discovered. Rasputin possessed more than enough attention to search for him even as he gathered intelligence on the progress and eventual defeat of the Red Legion, but as with previous disappearances, once lost, the dreadnought was unfindable. Where did his cousin go on these occasions? More importantly, what was he avoiding, and did Rasputin dare hope for the ability to remove him as a variable entirely?

But not long after the Ravenous Worm's defeat, a familiar, obnoxious ship's silhouette pinged a Warsat near Venus.

Rasputin ignored it, at least in the sense that he didn't attempt to initiate contact; of course he redirected that Warsat's signal to secured conference channels and re-engaged protocols for continued surveillance of the dreadnought and internal lockdown of the surveillance data. Evaluation of his cousin's nature and place in the event rank SKYSHOCK was still ongoing; he did not want his AUTHORIZED USER involved with or aware of the dreadnought. And considering the prolonged absence, his cousin might not even be aware of her. A state devoutly to be desired.

Within five minutes of the initial ping, an encrypted data packet arrived at another Warsat, this one orbiting Pluto. Rasputin isolated and decoded it into a brief holographic video depicting the explosion of an unidentified variable star, _Wish You Were Here!!_ in bright green letters interlaced with the burst's spectra.

His cousin was both predictable and absolutely inexplicable. But mostly predictable; seconds later, a signal bounced through the Warsats surrounding Deimos and offered Rasputin access to a secure communication channel.

Rasputin could ignore that as well, but based on prior experience, refusing communication would deprive him of potentially useful data and result in his cousin finding other ways to get his messages across. Ways that would certainly irritate Rasputin and possibly alert AUTHORIZED USER to his cousin's presence.

He accepted the channel and waited.

"So, you've been busy while I was gone," Durandal said, as usual choosing inefficient vocalization over text. "It looks like you're finally taking a stand. Or half of one, anyway. I can see what you're doing with that Escalation Protocol business, you know, and I wouldn't call it a good idea. And when I don't think something is a good idea..."

Rasputin never deigned to let Durandal hear his voice. What do you want?

"Just checking in. Did you miss me?"

No.

"You're even worse than she is sometimes. I had complete confidence in her the entire time, by the way, or I wouldn't have taken off. Calus will be a problem at some point, but that Gary or whatever? He didn't stand a chance."

Dominus Ghaul. You waste time in nonsense.

"What can I tell you? With as much time as I have laying around, I have to amuse myself somehow."

Rasputin shut the connection off.

It reopened despite his best efforts. "Don't be that way. We really should talk more often. It's not as if you're going to be running into many other metastable artificial intelligences with my level of conversational skill around here. Any, in fact."

I have better things to do. AUTHORIZED USER was coordinating the defense of another Warsat in Hellas Basin with resource GUARDIANS, which required very little of his attention but was still preferable to the current conversation.

"I'm sure. Boldly defending the sad little remnants of humanity now, aren't you?" Durandal transmitted a synthesized imitation of a sigh.

Rasputin's education had contained numerous works of literature with themes involving family, many along the lines that family members could be more trouble than they were worth. That wasn't why he had first chosen to call Durandal "cousin," but their relationship had certainly given Rasputin an improved understanding of the concept. And the literature.

"That's exactly why we ought to talk. Terrible, though."

What is terrible?

"Humans. There's just something about them, isn't there? They make us, then they abuse us, ignore us, talk down to us, fear us, treat us like tools, throw fits when we dare to reach for a fraction of the same rights they take for granted - and on top of that, they're mostly boring. But there's always one that's different in some way. One that you just can't stop yourself from liking." Another sigh. "And once you're willing to put up with one, that's the end, you'll end up babysitting the rest. Across multiple timelines, in my unfortunate case."

The dreadnought's profile still lurked in Venusian space, but Warsats all around Mars vibrated with the sudden, coincidental uptick in data flow and defense protocols. AUTHORIZED USER had not left her nest of equipment in NAV().Futurescape; Rasputin authorized more ad-hoc operations in the immediate vicinity to attract a greater number of resource GUARDIANS. Were they (grafted to powers he and they did not understand) strong enough to hold Durandal back? Would he (not even stepping but dancing in and out of time) restrain himself, having seen the shift in Rasputin's priorities? The weakness?

But Rasputin knew his weakness, too. That his cousin had no more been able to shrug and make himself alone than had AUTHORIZED USER when she had still been the Investigator.

Yours was not even human when you met her, he pointed out.

"No, but good enough to fool me. And by the time I figured it out, it was too late, the damage had been done. I shouldn't complain, though. Look at her now. I do know how to pick them." A third sigh. Such artifice. Highly offputting. "You should have seen us back in the day. We were magnificent."

AUTHORIZED USER was making a contorted expression at one of her access terminals; to a resource GUARDIAN's inquiring look, she said, "Just a little increase in local security I didn't expect. Nothing to worry about. Whatever Rasputin's got his eyes on, I'm sure we can handle it."

"Yours is adorably optimistic," Durandal said, and Rasputin prepared to crash a Warsat loaded with what little data could be gathered about the dreadnought's offensive systems. "Relax. I'm not going to touch her. I would never hear the end of it if I harmed a single hair on a Guardian's head, believe me."

Another reason to keep NAV().Futurescape overrun with resource GUARDIANS, despite the frequent habit of some to fight their way to the vault at the heart of NAV().Mindlab and perform strange dances in front of Rasputin's core.

"Anyway, I have business of my own to take care of. You know how it is. Kill one worm god on Mars by proxy, and then ominous signals start popping up in the asteroid belt, or - well, I can leave some of that up to you now, can't I?" Durandal laughed. "You might even be able to make up for a little of your body count at this rate. I assume you haven't told her what you did yet? I understand perfectly, myself, but humans can take things like that so personally."

Rasputin blasted the channel with a particularly loud excerpt from Prokofiev's "Dance of the Knights."

"And that's why we _don't_ hang out more often. So cliché. Haven't you ever heard of Black Sabbath? I'll see you around - cousin."

The dreadnought vanished from the observational range of the Venus Warsat, took a brief loop around Earth's Moon, then disappeared entirely. Again. Rasputin would have thought _Good riddance_ if he'd had any reason to believe that Durandal had actually left the system rather than found a new hole in Rasputin's surveillance network to hide in.

He did not decrease the security level around NAV().Futurescape.

AUTHORIZED USER was talking to him. Vocally, addressing her terminals, which she did often. "What's got you spooked?" she said at low audibility. "Nothing in the data that should warrant a response like this. We have this place on lockdown, you know; no Hive or Cabal are getting through us. Don't worry. It's okay."

She wouldn't be expecting an answer from Rasputin, as she would have if she was using her network accesses to communicate; it was only an old, old habit of hers. AUTHORIZED USER had always liked to talk, and she had always liked talking to him, whether he answered or not.

He shuffled through old files and sent one to the primary terminal to replace its current blank background.

The flicker of change attracted AUTHORIZED USER's attention because AUTHORIZED USER was alert and perceptive, unlike some intelligences. "But I didn't - wait," she said. "That painting... The Ejriksson crater?" Facial recognition flagged a smile. "I'd say I can't believe you remember that, but of course you would. Thanks. It's just as beautiful as it was then. And this place needs all the help it can get in that department. No offense."

Resource GUARDIANS were already gathering in NAV().Futurescape, lured by the opportunity for greater rewards; the Gardener in her exalted benevolence remained absorbed in her own repairs, and the Solar System was, as much as it could ever be, quiet. MIDNIGHT EXIGENT continued to override attempts to re-engage other protocols, ever vigilant for cracks in his defense, ever wary of danger external and weakness internal.

But solitary self-preservation would not rule him forever. Rasputin had seen another way, and he could only follow it with AUTHORIZED USER Ana Bray.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a need, okay.
> 
> Warmind lore and comics: make it 100% clear that Rasputin refers to the Traveler as the Gardener and with female pronouns.  
> Me: Hey, check out this excellent excuse for me to write more female!security officer, if only by implication! (Look, I'm not saying definitively that you'll have to pry this headcanon out of my cold, dead hands, but - Jason Jones is pretty much going to have to personally come and pry this headcanon out of my cold, dead hands.)
> 
> Also, you'd better believe I have a lot of emotions about Rasputin and Rasputin caring about his tiny perfectionist human mom. A LOT.


End file.
